Millennium Pie!
by Teh Cruxis Angel Mithos
Summary: Did you ever wonder why Bakura wanted to collect all seven millennium items? No? It’s because he wanted to make millennium pie!


Hey check it out! I finally wrote something other than Fire Emblem! So anyway about the story, I was trying to make up new millennium items with **Tai'sgirl23**. Eventually we came up with millennium pie.

**Warning: **I don't think it needs one… oh yeah it's pretty stupid.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Yu-gi-oh. Why do I have to write this? I think it's rather obvious that I own nothing.

OoOoO

Did you ever wonder why Bakura wanted to collect all seven millennium items? No? It's because he wanted to make millennium pie! (1)

Millennium pie was a difficult dish to make, but it would be worth it. The recipe had been passed down in Bakura's family from generation to generation. He walked into his kitchen of doom and put on his pink, frilly 'kiss the chef' apron of doom.

Bakura un-zipped his backpack and poured the seven millennium items onto his kitchen table. "Right, time to get cooking." (2) He placed the millennium eye on a chopping board and took out a large knife.

Just as he was about to start cutting it up, Yugi entered the kitchen. "Hey Bakura! Uh…" He looked down at Bakura's apron and began to back away slowly. "I think I'll be going now…"

"Stupid pharaoh…" Bakura turned back to the millennium eye and started to cut it up. His scooped it up and put it in the pastry that he made earlier.

"Right. Now for the next ingredient…" Bakura wiped back a tear from his eye. "Grr, I thought it was only onions that made you cry… Hmm the blender must be in the dishwasher." Bakura slammed the cupboard door shut causing all the expensive plates to wobble and smash onto the floor. "Stupid fine china… Think I'll make… Joey clean it up. Hey Joey! Get in here!"

"Eh? Whad'ya want Bakura? You didn't break the fine china again did…" Joey noticed Bakura's apron and the tears round his eyes. "Hey check it out guys," he called to no one in particular, "Bakura's getting in touch with his feminine side."

"Firstly, yes. I did break the fine china again. Second, I am NOT getting in touch with my feminine side. And Third, where's the blender?"

Joey thought for a second. "I think Tai's Girl has it."

Bakura was beginning to get annoyed. "Why does Tai's Girl have the blender?"

"Um… Dunno. I'll go check if you don't make me tidy up the broken plates."

"Fine. Hmm… Ok we'll leave that out until later. What's next?" Bakura turned over a page of his cookbook. "Aha! The millennium ring! We must boil it. Now where's that saucepan?" Bakura looked down at the china. "Who makes a saucepan out of china? In fact, better question, who buys a saucepan made out of china? And where's my blender anyway?"

"Hey Bakura!" Joey was standing in the doorway in front of a rather guilty looking Tai's Girl and TCAM who was clutching the blender protectively.

"Give me the blender." He said firmly.

"Uh…no. We can't."

"Not yet." Tai's Girl added. "We need to wash it out."

"Why?" He eyed them suspiciously. "What have you been using it for?"

"Well…" The two girls were cut off as Kaiba entered the room. They looked at each other. "Err…"

"Al right! Who's seen my blue eyes'? He demanded. "TCAM I'm looking in your direction."

"Hey!" She pouted. "Just because I was the one that dropped them in the pond. But like I said, that was an accident."

"Just hand them over."

TCAM shifted uncomfortably. "Well… if you insist." She walked over to him and poured shreds of paper out of the blender into Kaiba's hands.

"You blended my blue eyes'?"

"Well… we were sick of you beating us all the time and…IT WAS TAI'S GIRLS IDEA!" TCAM dodged pass Kaiba and jumped out the window.

"What? You blame me for everything!" Tai's Girl noticed the look Kaiba was giving her. "Uh… see ya'!" She quickly followed her friend out of the window.

"Hey! Get back here!" Kaiba turned around and stormed out of the door that the girls were too stupid to use.

"They took the blender… Now how will I make my millennium pie?"

"Try this." Joey tossed all seven millennium items into the pie dish without any preparation and sealed it with a final sheet of pastry.

"Good idea." Bakura placed the pie in the oven and shut the oven door. "Now we'll just leave it for thirty minutes and it'll be done."

OoOoO

Everyone sat down at the table and began to eat the famous-for-the-last-forty-five-minutes millennium pie.

"You know," Kaiba commented. "For a pie that has nothing but old metal in it, this tastes pretty good." (3)

Yugi looked up. "You sure are in a good mood considering…" He looked over to Tai's Girl and TCAM who were both crying their eyes out.

"Yes. Lets just say I blended their strongest cards."

Tai's Girl sniffed "Why Kuriboh? Why?"

"Oh Petit Moth. I'll miss you!" TCAM sobbed.

OoOoO

(1) Yes I know it's because he wants to rule the world or something like that but that plotlines used way too much.

(2) To help my poor little brain cope with writing this fic, we're saying that Bakura has all of the millennium items already. (Haha he wishes.)

(3) Don't ask me how it tastes good. Maybe Kaiba's lying… The point is MILLENNIUM PIE ROCKS!

Don't ask.

I'm weird.

Please review.


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